It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
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