Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
