you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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