Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
