I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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