While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
