he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
