you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
