Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
