sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
