She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
