she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
