he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
