Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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