the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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