Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
