i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
