its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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