Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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