yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
