so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
