I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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