Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
