I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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