so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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