We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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