I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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