Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
