Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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