it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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