I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
