Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
