Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize