turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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