I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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