it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
