i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
