Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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