Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize