well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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