Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
