Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My bed smells like the plague
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
