is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
