I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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