She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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