My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We just shotgunned beers for America
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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