Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
