Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
