All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
