im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize