The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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