I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize