allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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