"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
