i was born a porn star she said
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize