Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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