I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
