rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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