Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
