That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
