He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
