I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
