stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
